For those of you who don't know and thought that I have not offered anything to the rest of humanity, you wrong! I am the inventor of the CACHUNGA MASSAGE!
What is the Cachunga massage? Below is an explanation:
Cachunga Massage- Traditional Persian Massage
Cachunga introduced to the Achaemenid Empire of ancient Persia by Darius the 8th. This is a massage that primarily focuses on the breasts of females. Cachunga is a deep tissue massage used with oil. It is based on a fondling motion, and is usually performed in the direction of the heart to promote circulation.
I was clearly bored at work and so decided to post the above description onto Wikipedia, fully expecting for it to be removed swiftly. However, due to my cunning use of language (and with the help of fellow Cachunga Massage master Mr Elliot Marsh) and the plausibility factor it was left on Wikipedia! This led to other websites picking up on it and soon it was all over the internet (there are currently over 10 separate results for it on Google). It was eventually removed from Wikipedia but not because it's a clearly fake massage technique and a wind up - no sir, it was removed due to a factual inaccuracy! Apparently there was no Darius the 8th in ancient Persia, I only chose the 8th as 8 is my favourite number. I quickly re-edited the Cachunga Massage to reflect that it was actually introduced by Darius the 3rd and there it remained. Though I did get into a feud with some geek called BRYANOUR, who insisted on removing it from Wikipedia, by then it was too late as I had already conquered the internet!
Conquered? Those are big word, but yes none other than the BBC's Top Gear website name checked the Cachunga Massage in one of their articles here is the link scroll to the bottom
And there was even a guy named Dave from Pasedena who was offering his expertise in Cachunga Massage online and who had apparently been practicing the art of Cachunga Massage for the past ten years in a celebrity health spa in London! Alas, I can no longer find the link to Dave, but remember there are only two grand masters in the art of Cachunga Massage - me, Elliot Marsh, and Benny Stow, who is in training.
Welcome (to the Jungle)! As you can see, below every article you have the option of posting a comment. Please feel free to lavish praise upon me. I like that. Almost as much as 'ISS Pro Evolution' for the PlayStation 2. However, I am a realist, so please also feel free to post abusive comments as well, as they are usually quite funny.