It needed to be said. Why is BBCiPlayer so rubbish?

Everyone knows it - BBCiPlayer is rubbish compared to the genius of 4oD (4 On Demand). One week's worth of television - which I don't want to watch anyway - this is an insult to me, my family, and everything that I stand for. Using all of my investigative journalistic skills, I e-mailed the BBC on their feedback section. Here's how it went down:

(Note that the guy's name is Micky - bit too informal for my liking)

Why is BBC iPlayer so rubbish compared to 4OD? Why do you only have one week's worth of programmes when 4OD has almost their entire catalogue online and available at any time for free? You do not even compare. It is very sad. I wanted to watch an old episode of Dragon's Den and was unable to do so. Why is the BBC so archaic and afraid to embrace new innovative technology? I think you should be ashamed of your second rate iPlayer as Channel 4 are clearly leading the way in this field. Whilst I am complaining, your programme output is getting worse. Please could you tell me your top rated shows so that I maybe able to see where my licence fee goes to? Thank you very much. I anxiously await your reply.

Yours sincerely

And Micky's reply (with my own musings interspersed):

I was sorry to learn of your disappointment at what you feel is the lack of programme availability on BBC iPlayer compared to other "on-demand" services, such as 4oD(Pah! Not sorry enough. If you were, you'd give me some money!). Although I am not in a position to comment on the service provided by 4oD (because you're jealous of them), the difference between our services is that, although their programmes; which are funded by advertising (and are generally far superior - oh no, wait, that's right, you've got '2 Pints of Lager and a Packet of Turd'); may be available for longer, there are also programmes and films on that service that require extra payments to cover copyright issues.

Our service; on the other hand; provides programmes for no fee whatsoever as they have already been paid for by the UK TV licence fee (yeah, and that's my money!!! Well, it would be if I paid for a TV Licence) but need to be covered by the Digital Rights Management, which requires that programmes can only be hosted for a period of seven days to safeguard the rights of contributors to programmes in the event of any possible future commercial release...(blah, blah, blah...)

I can confirm that BBC iPlayer is funded by approximately 8 pence per month from your annual UK TV licence fee (what?!! 8 pence a month??? That works out at £9.60p a decade! For that much I could almost afford to buy a DVD of the show at HMV. Is this why people fought and died on the beaches of Normandy?). If you need further information about this fee and how it may be allocated throughout the BBC, you may wish to take a look at our Freedom of Information and Annual Report websites which will contain the details you need:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/foi/index.shtml http://www.bbc.co.uk/annualreport/

(no need for pornographic websites my friends - the internet was created so that we could all read the BBC's Annual Report)

Thank you once again for taking the time to contact BBC iPlayer.

Regards

Micky (Mouse)

BBC iPlayer

Well, Micky seems like a nice enough guy, so I will spare him my fury. And despite the absence of a gift of some money (which would have helped his case), his response was pretty nice. Nice, but misleading as we all know that all of the good shows (e.g. Peep Show) are available for free on 4oD. Stop lying Micky! And get a last name.